Brick by Brick

When a doctor examined Anna Hertel's damaged knee and asked, "What was it all for?" he was referring to the toll of years of endurance training. But the question opened a deeper reckoning.

In Brick by Brick, Anna traces the story of a woman who poured everything into motion, becoming a two-time Ironman and completing forty-five triathlons years earlier in an effort to move beyond two abusive relationships in early adulthood that left her fractured. After she finally got away, the imprint lingered for over a decade, showing up in perfectionism, self-erasure, and a nervous system wired for survival, long before she understood its source.

Born in Germany and raised in the United States, she grew up in a loving, privileged family, afforded safety, education, and opportunity, yet internally splintered by cultural dislocation and a deep hunger for connection she did not yet know how to name. Years later, a late-in-life diagnosis of ADHD would cast new light on her emotional intensity, impulsive trust, and relentless drive to prove her worth. She turned to discipline, believing it could hold what her relationships could not. But the body keeps score. Injury, not insight, finally made her stop.

Told in vivid scenes and braided with reflective footnotes, this memoir begins in the doctor's office and spirals backward through collapse, migration, and reclamation. In the end, she would leave two more relationships, guided by a quiet knowing that the echoes of trauma still required excavation before she could move forward as an integrated self. Choosing single motherhood was not an ending but an arrival, a way of finally finding the home she had always longed for inside her body.

With insight into trauma recovery, somatic memory, ADHD, and the myth of romantic salvation, Brick by Brick is a meditation on endurance, identity, and the long way home.

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