The Boys in the Band

I acquired myfirst guitar at the tender age of five. From that moment on, I knew that one dayI would become a famous ‘pop star’. I even had the name of my band, ‘Phil Starand The Falling Stars’. But… childhood dreams don’t always come true; thingsdon’t always work out as planned. In this lifelong searchfor stardom, life has taken me along many routes,every one enjoyable and each witha mass of tales worth telling. However impossible some ofthese tales may sound, I assure you that every single one of them is as true asI remember. Sometimes my chronology isn’t quite accurate; sometimes names andplaces have genuinely been forgotten and substituted, but they are all true. One of the main reasons for committing this particular period in time to paperbefore any other is that most of theguys who feature still get together and re-tell the stories over a few pints,quite a few, actually. The tears of laughter that these retellings create, decadeslater, plus the countless numberof times that someone has said, ‘You ought to writea book’, has inspired me to do just that. From the ageof thirteen I had been playing in a semi-professional band, turning ‘pro’almost as soon as I left school. This particular episode takes place between1973 and 1979, mainly in thenorth-east of England. Theshipbuilding had all but disappeared,but from Newcastle in the north to Darlington in the south, this area hadbecome the clubland entertainment capitalof the world: There were more workingmen’s clubs per squaremile here than anywhere else on the planet. During this periodI played with the two bandsthat feature in the following stories, namely, ‘Trigger’ and ‘Childs Play’. Both outfits were ‘cabaret’ bands, complete with pink catsuits, cleverly seguedmedleys of Beach-Boys hits, some slightly more than risqué stage comedy and a healthy contempt for bingo, committees,concert secretaries and anyone who didn’t thinkthat the band was wonderful. The maincharacters are Tony Grant, drums and vocals; Paul Farnell, bass guitar and vocals;Keith Andrews, keyboards and vocals plus yours truly on guitar and vocals forChilds Play. ‘Liccul’ Geoff Hayward, guitar and vocals with Tony, Paul and mefor Trigger. Link: https://youtu.be/ylIgoHM6Noo

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